Scattering Ashes Guide: Practical Support for NSW Families
Scattering ashes at a location of personal significance has become increasingly common. Here are our suggestions, drawn from years of helping families through this process.
Getting Permission
You'll need permission to scatter ashes — from the relevant public authority, private landowner, or vessel captain if scattering at sea. See NSW Government guidelines.
We generally discourage scattering ashes on private property, as land may be sold in time — see here for options of keeping the ashes at home.
Different Kinds of Urns
If you plan to scatter ashes, consider using an urn designed for this purpose. At Marc and Friends, we provide scattering urns as part of our standard service. The typical plastic urn from a crematorium is a rectangular box with a plug at one end. If you want to change the urn, this can be arranged through a funeral director or crematorium. You may also wish to keep a portion of the ashes – perhaps in jewellery for ashes or at home.
Planning
It is wise to visit the location beforehand to find the most sheltered spot possible. It is wise to visit the location beforehand to find the most sheltered spot possible and to assess privacy — both the location itself and what time of day might be quietest.
Consider what you might read or say before scattering the ashes. You may want to read a short Bible passage, like Psalm 23. Have it on a device or in a book as a sheet of paper might be taken by the wind.
Having a few close family members or friends present can provide helpful support.
Understand the method required to open the urn. The scattering tube urn we offer does not require tools -- just removing the lid by hand then puncturing the perforated hole. The typical plastic urn requires a thin flat-head screwdriver to begin removing the plug, then a larger one to complete the process. Whichever urn you have, you may want to rinse out the urn with a bottle of water on hand.
Think about what you might do with the empty urn. You might bury the scattering tube beside a thriving plant at home, or dispose of a plastic urn at home, making sure you remove any labels beforehand.
Aside from the urn itself, here is a check list of items that may be required:
A dignified bag to carry the urn discreetly
Small and large flat-head screwdrivers (for a plastic urn)
Bottle of water
Reading on a device or in a book
On the Day
Whilst you might be prepared for it, scattering ashes may well prove more confronting than anticipated. The Bible speaks plainly: '... you are dust, and to dust you shall return' (Genesis 3:19). These earthly remains confront us with both the reality of death of a loved one and our own mortality. There is solemnity here, certainly, but also a fragility and tenderness that deserves acknowledgement. Allow space for whatever grief arises.
When the time comes to scatter, it's best to kneel and hold the urn as close to the ground or water as possible—ideally no more than two or three centimetres from the surface—to avoid wind interference. It is helpful to note that the ashes are comprised of coarse particles, similar to sand and also fine ones, like flour. Be aware that even an imperceptible breeze can affect the finer elements.
Consider going to a café afterwards to have an informal time of reflection together.