Options for the Urn and Ashes

There are different decisions to do in relation to the ashes. See below for the standard urn. Scroll for advice about having a memorial service, arranging transportation and what to do with the ashes.

Options for the standard Urn

While most crematoria supply the ashes in a functional plastic urn, we provide a choice of durable tube urns instead. These urns may later be used for scattering, if desired. See the options below.

Tap or click the image below to view in full screen the tube urn options included in our service

Memorial Service

  • Families sometimes choose to hold a memorial service, similar in structure to a funeral but without the presence of a coffin. This may be arranged through a local church, or some may prefer a more informal gathering in a meaningful location. Importantly, a memorial service offers greater flexibility in choosing a venue, and is usually held weeks or months later, allowing time for preparations and for people to travel. You do not necessarily need to have the urn present.

  • Some families choose to have the ashes present during a memorial service. One way to personalise this is to wrap the urn in a shawl, blanket, or fold a jacket over it. A large floral arrangement in front of the urn or a framed photograph beside it can also help create a meaningful tribute. Setting the urn on a table with a suitable cloth may further enhance the setting.

What Are the Options for Transporting the Ashes?

  • This is usually done by appointment. It is advisable to bring someone for moral support rather than collecting the ashes alone. If you are uncertain about what to do with the ashes, crematoriums that have memorialisation options may provide guidance. However, crematoriums do not store ashes indefinitely, so it is important to contact them if you are unsure.

    If you make arrangements with Marc and Friends, we can discuss these details on your behalf.

  • Marc and Friends, like other funeral directors, can deliver the ashes in person within certain areas. If you live alone, consider having someone present when we arrive. Before receiving the ashes, think about a dignified and discrete place to keep them.

  • While some families are uncomfortable with posting ashes, it is a common practice. Australia Post allows ashes to be sent within Australia via tracked mail requiring a signature. This ensures that ashes can be accounted for during transit, and if no one is home, they will be held at the nearest post office for collection.

  • If you plan to transport ashes internationally, check with the consulate of your destination country to confirm their requirements. Most countries have straightforward procedures, though some, like Germany, have stringent regulations that make it nearly impossible to transport ashes there.

    It is important not to tamper with the urn in any way before travel, as customs officials need to be assured that it contains only ashes. If you are transporting only a portion of the ashes, ask the crematorium or funeral director for them to be provided in at least two urns. Some crematoriums place a sticker on the urn lid as a seal, which can assist with customs clearance.

    At a minimum, you will need:

    • A letter from the crematorium confirming the cremation details

    • A copy of your loved one’s death certificate

    When travelling, always carry the urn in your hand luggage to minimise the risk of loss.

  • For repatriation, ashes are typically sent via a freight forwarder from one international airport to another. This method is secure but comes at a cost. Families at the receiving end must collect the ashes in person or appoint someone to do so.

    Since 2024, Australia Post has permitted ashes to be posted internationally. However, some countries do not allow the receipt of ashes. For instance, France permits them, whereas the UK does not. The International Post Guide provides country-specific details.

    While postal delivery is cost-effective, ashes are irreplaceable if lost in transit. For this reason, international couriers such as FedEx do not transport ashes. The safest methods are either personal carriage when travelling or arranging shipment via a freight forwarder through a funeral director like Marc and Friends.

What to Do with the Ashes in Time?

  • Permission is required to scatter ashes, whether from a public authority, a private landowner, or a vessel captain if scattering at sea. See NSW Government guidelines

    If you plan to scatter ashes, consider using an urn designed for this purpose. At Marc and Friends, we provide scattering urns as part of our standard service.

    When it comes time to scattering, it’s best to hold the urn close to the ground or water to avoid wind interference, ideally no more than two or three centimetres.

    We generally discourage scattering ashes on private property, as land may be sold in time.

  • Some families keep ashes in a large pot with seasonal flowers. If you choose a permanent plant, ensure it is one that will thrive without extensive care. A potted arrangement allows ashes to be moved if you relocate.

    Others place ashes in decorative garden ornaments. Traditional urns, often metal with screw-top lids, are also a common choice. Marc and Friends can provide a catalogue of about 1,000 urns at cost, if required.

  • Some churches have a memorial garden for interring ashes, but availability is often limited due to space constraints and the need to maintain a dignified setting. Once these gardens reach capacity, some churches close them to new interments. Typically, they are open to former members of the congregation.

  • While this option can be costly to inter the ashes at a cemetery or crematorium, it provides a permanent place for remembrance. Memorialisation at a cemetery or crematorium ensures a recorded location for the ashes, preserving a lasting tribute for future generations.

  • Some families assume they can scatter ashes on a relative’s grave, but cemeteries typically do not permit this. The formal process involves interring the ashes within the grave, which is often more cost-effective than other interment options. You may also arrange to have your loved one’s name added to the existing gravestone.

  • If a family member is to be buried in the future, the ashes of a previously cremated loved one may be placed in the coffin. This requires prior approval from the cemetery, as it must be recorded in their records.

    There are generally no restrictions on placing the cremated remains of a pet with your loved one.